- ‘I am 5ft 2 and 3/4’
- Own large sculpture, patterned from my body size.
Introduction
You will notice the title. From now on this piece will retain it’s name, so that in the future I can refer to it with recognition. Its title relates directly to myself and my own height. It conveys an acceptance and illustrates a transparency; it does not apologize or try to be something else. Due to it being fashioned from a self designed pattern of my own body, it creates complete synthesis of the idea I had planned.
I believe this piece to be a key part of my project, thus I wish to isolate it and critically reflect on it. I have previously outlined and reflected upon this piece in a briefer form within this post, but I felt that due to its integral nature in line with my project matter, it should be elevated and looked at in depth in a separate post to the rest of my work, for fear of it getting ‘lost’.
Where did it come from?
The idea originated from the perceived theme which has been an undercurrent within my entire BA: Repair, or a venture to reach or emulate this state / action.
In Textiles 3, this led me down a pledge to answer the question of how to heal.
During a telephone call tutorial after Part Two with my tutor, she referred to the themes and undercurrents which she had observed within my work for Part Two. We discussed my use of the figure and how scale (going to extremes) could provoke a reaction from an audience. I had challenged scale in Part Two via the extremes of Paper Sculpture, making a doll sized piece and comparing this to one cut from my own body size.
This sculptural piece, made within Part three, has been made from a pattern first made in Part two, thus it becomes I direct development of prior research and a realisation of a planned idea.
Contextual research
For my background research, I investigated the work of Claire Curneen, Julie Arkell and Freddie Robbins in depth, as well as others. These three are ones which I isolate as drivers within my project. Arkell’s use of colour in marriage with the loss of her mother was reminiscent of my own colour choice here. We both have touched upon the topic of loss within our work. I have conveyed it as white – taking the colour out as it were. Arkell chose to display it in a darker tone, one more traditional in line with its context.
Above: Arkell’s crows, dressed in black, in opposition to my own palette.
Curneen’s use of her hands to mould and form her pieces as well as the body language the pieces themselves convey was one area which interested me within her work. We both have used our hands to create our work, it becomes our own personal imprint, quite literally. Her hands have left a trace of her ‘the maker’, especially seen in her terracotta works. I have left my own ‘trace’ of myself via my use of personal cloth.
Above: Curneen’s Terracotta, compared with my own Jesmonite head which was wrapped in pre-owned face cloths. Both leave a trace of the maker.
In the end, it was not Robin’s knitting techniques which I took on board to develop, but the essence of the outcomes themselves. Her piece ‘I’m just so bloody sad’ resonated with me. It does not pretend to be okay; it is freely admitting that it is not. Yet it is not fighting it, thus in a way, it states that it is okay with it’s feeling. Maybe it knows that the feeling in itself is transient; a moment which will pass. This in itself can be a form of healing, a way of conveying that one is at peace with oneself. I see this element within my own sculpture. It tells a story via body language, just like Robins. It does not profess to be okay in that moment, but it knows that moments pass = repair.
Above: My own sculpture, positioned upright. In this state it evokes a sense of anticipation, a patience, waiting for change. Robin’s piece to the right ‘I’m just so bloody sad’, does not hold back its meaning. Both know that moments change, pass and most can be made to at least be ‘okay’. In a way my title ‘I am 5ft 2 and 3/4’ relates well to Robin’s own works title. They are both honest, which in itself is a sense of repair in process; an admission rather than a retraction.
What are its features and qualities? What does it reflect? How does it convey my personal visual language?
First, lets look at the separate parts which are brought together to make the piece itself:
- The legs were made from Irish linen, a tough ‘determined’ fabric, with links back to my heritage. They have been stuffed with recycled stuffing from a quilt of my own. This thus has a personal connection and a relation to requiring warmth. The amount they are ‘stuffed’ can also have depth. For example a less stuffed leg can give a floppy, less hopeful look, where as a tightly stuffed leg, can emulate strength and rigidity. Here as the maker, I designed much of the leg to allow for shaping, yet retain rigidity; a silent pledge for resilience on my part. Different sculptures (if made) could challenge this rigidity – what would happen to the shape with less stuffing etc.
- The arms and torso are cut in a fine muslin, with possible a small amount of wool mixed in. This is a vintage fabric, which has been taken apart from old fancy dress costumes from my childhood. It tears easily. but it reminiscent of childhood, comfort and vivid memories. The fabric itself has been chosen for this bit of the body, to represent how my own top half of my body is weaker and wears pain and strain more easily than my legs. It links back to age old sayings, for example an observer may say of a person that they have ‘the weight of the world on their shoulders’. Looking inside the sculpture, the torso has been stuffed with bubble wrap. I kept on asking myself what the material meant or symbolised to me personally. Why was I choosing it? Was it just for the sake of it? No. wanted to display as much ‘silent’ meaning and emotion as possible. Thus the lightness of even a large amount of bubble wrap, can convey the feeling of body image, or simply act as an oppositional weight form in juxtaposition with the heavy weight of the Jesmonite head; causing the head to have an exaugurated observance. The bubble wrap as a material on its own, can be seen as a healing or therapeutic form of play. The act of calming therapy via pressing and popping the studs of the bubble wrap, could also be seen as a vehicle of repair or Kintsugi. The arms have been stuffed with vintage heavy lace. I questioned at the time whether I felt that this was sacrilege or good use of material. I decided to use it, as it has a meaning to me which transcends the material itself – it has sat in boxes for many years, too good to throw, yet unusable at this point within my current practice. Using it gave it a new life. Having chosen a fine muslin for the arms, the material shows through, thus it is not wasted. The weight of the lace itself symbolises how we can carry a heavy weight of stress or worry on our shoulders. The see through material which it is housed it, allows the lace to display its pattern properties. This conveys that we can have hidden holes, weak points, both physically in our bone structure, but also emotionally. This doesn’t have to be evidenced via facial characterisation or detail. It can come from how a person walks, the drop and curve of their bodies, even the roll and direction of their shoulders themselves.
- The head, made from a mix of Jesmonite imbedded with Liz Earle facecloths, surrounding a pre-sized balloon mould. This hardened to create a weighty piece, with the Jesmonite diluted to a weak solution to allow the original fabric to come through, thus giving a textured, still cloth like look. The way I have cut and formed the cloths around the head shape, is reminiscent of bandage. This again gives a nod back to my theme of repair. The weight of the Jesmonite is here used as a symbolic reminder of how we can feel at times heavy headed. It has also given the figure character, as it is inclined to drop due to the factor of weight in correspondence with the fabric body.
How does it fit with the contextual framework of my practice and lines of research on the topic of repair?
Looking at the piece at first glance, it does not convey an immediate happy quality. The structure is malleable, thus it can depend on what position it is placed in or naturally falls in, to what body language it illustrates. Thus much is in the hands of the maker or the person curating display.
However I do see this piece as showing healing and repair. How? The white colour palette symbolises a clean fresh start. The materials have been saved from “boxed doom”, never to see light. The overall piece itself, symbolises acceptance. It is not trying to be anything than it is. It is frayed, torn in places and made on a real mix up. However it is there, survived, it is not jumping up gagging for life, but it is okay.
Thus, my sculpture here becomes an admission – it is okay to feel this way – whatever way, to express it and convey it within our / my body language or in fact project it onto another object, thus creating a distancing element. The distancing element actually is an integral part of the healing, as it less within us and further out of us. A ‘displacement’ feature.
The sculpture was allowed to naturally fall over a period of minutes. Originally placed in the position top left, it began to organically fold and shape itself, due to the weight of the Jesmonite head. Thus reflecting on this, I am happy with my decision to use the weighty Jesmonite. It adds the planned elements desired, namely healing – projected in the material choices made (see above for information) and also openly displaying how we may feel, projected within the sculpture and that this is okay. The word okay is one which really came to light via my research into the work of Freddie Robins, which in turn led me to the exhibition she was a part of, ‘What can I do to make it OK?’. Within her lecture on the exhibition, she defined what the word meant to her. I like it myself as a word, as it takes the weight out of perfection – yet it still can mean positivity. No, the thing, situation etc may not be 100% desired or perfect, but if it is OK then it can be lived with. This is my interpretation of repair and what I feel I have begun to portray through my above tests and investigations.
What do others see in it?
It is easy as the maker, to discuss and interpret our own works, with substance and analysis; although at times we may be guilty of not stopping and taking time to think about our own work – I see this as an integral part of making, just as important as taking the time to analyse the work of others. However a balance is needed and in order to fully develop an understanding of how our work is perceived and where it fits within the art context, we need the opinion of others.
One way of doing this is via fellow students. I used the OCA Facebook page for Textiles, uploading a selection of images and asking for interpretations and viewpoints. I explained that I did not want to taint their application and subsequent replies, thus chose to keep my own meanings and even material use very blank.
I wanted to glean opinions, like those given in a gallery setting, as if we were observing it sitting there in a room for the first time.
Replies from fellow students
‘Nicky Eastaugh I haven’t looked at any of your blog posts, so truly seeing it with fresh eyes. As humans we say so much about our feelings through body language. These postures are very engaging. I personally find these figures lonely and abandoned. They remind me of the homeless and they way they often wedge themselves into corners and doorways, and their anonymity is reflected in your figures too. The one who has fallen off the wicker chest suggests illness or injury and begs an inquisitive “are you OK?” and help to a moe comfortable position.’
I like how she feels the postural positions are engaging; onlookers may stop and pause – the desired effect. I found it interesting that she used the term “OK” . I myself linked this previously and it connects back with my contextual research on Freddie Robins and the exhibition ‘What do I need to make it OK?’. Yes, the figure does raise that as a question, yet it is not one which I feel the figure needs to answer. I see this piece as a static being, not one thing or another, but certainly not getting any “worse”. The mention of abandonment and loneliness – both relate to my topic of how to heal and repair. They are both things we want to “fix”, yet we may have to live with them and learn to accept them as realities for a while – this may be a temporary “OK”.
‘Wendy Ward Hi Ailish. The long sinew arms and legs extended outwards speak to me of reaching out for help, the hands clasp between the legs is denoting ” helplessness abandoned, loneliness, also the lack of identity and person is also reflected. I will read your blog now.’
Again abandonment and loneliness are brought to the fore. This links well with my own meaning, the thoughts surrounding loss – which I have portrayed within this figure via my muted colour palette and body language. From a photograph, it is easy to evoke new meaning; which is what I endeavoured to realise when setting up my own photo shoot for this piece. A timeline, old fashioned flick book where a story or pattern develops over the pages was in my mind. Ward noticed the long arms and legs; which in fact are actually the literal length of my own; however it is amazing what can get exaggerated and misconstrued from an image over the viewing of the real object.
Above: Own drawing to the left, surmising one way of evidencing a reaction through body language. Reminiscent of my earlier research on the sculptor Pierre Williams.
Reflecting further on Rodgers comment, another figure the same size as this one could be created, holding different meanings. Placing the two and observing how their bodies fall, could be a way of observing body language, for example the kind we emit when hurt by another human. Do we actively try to repair / heal the situation? Do we react? Recoil? Much could be played out via the making of another sculpture as I pursue and define my own Percival of repair, how to heal and how to accept – even celebrate the quality of the “OK”, not the transient mended item/situation; rather the mending of ourselves, our most personal WIP.
‘Sally Harrison I see some boredom, fed up children waiting.’
The act of boredom. This interpretation was not one I had designed to show, yet now looking again at my figure, I see how she came to this assumption. The body language, especially the slumped shoulders could have been a part of her thoughts.
‘Linda Baker Frantically trying to complete MMT so shouldn’t really be on here! So a quick response and I’ll try remember to look at your blog next week – consider me to be one of those gallery visitors that just whizz by …. my first thought was that saying ‘the weight of the world on ones shoulders’ then ‘world weary – the planet suffering from the impact of human consumption, in this case textile industry particularly…’
Wow. Earlier on in this analysis, I outlined how the figure had been made. The top half of the body was designed with heavy areas to promote the feeling of having ‘the weight of the world on ones shoulders’. Thus she really has hit on an area which I had already reflected on myself. I like her second comment, isolating the words ‘world weary’ which I feel are particularly relevant to my project subject. We may at times feel this way, yet this is not a notion which cannot be healed, repaired or made to be okay in the sense it can be lived with.
Final thoughts regarding my audience feedback
Getting this type of feedback, is a small way of observing how an audience would react to my work. I view this as an integral part of my learning, in order to continue as an artist outside of the degree time.
Accumulating and pondering on what others see in my work, leads me to new developments. For example, Rodgers’ comment made me think about creating a similar sized figure to connect with this one. Previously I had set this out as a possibility, yet at the time I was thinking on a doll like scale. Now I am planning to create another sculpture on this life size scale.
The fact that these replies are coming from fellow students narrows the feedback, yet it means I am gaining views from those who are learning too within a similar pathway, thus may be thinking and connecting ideas as I am.
I wish to locate new audiences as I move forward.
How could it be improved or further developed?
The sculpture itself is a starting point, it holds so much meaning which could fork in a variety of ways:
- Drawing work in a life drawing style, in a variety of media including stitch.
- More sculptures like it, all with a different play on emotional contexts, played out via materials chosen etc.
- More sculptures at different sizes.
- Print making work, transposed onto the fabric made to create the sculpture itself, then the printed material could be made into the figure. This would have meaning in line with my thematic context of repair.
Final note
It does not matter in itself however much of the above gets actioned within this course, it is the pushing and investigating which is important. I have opened a question – how to heal.
I don’t expect to answer it once and for all, just as a literal repair is not actioned to heal its bearer forever – this is an important and vital subject to question and maintain, an ongoing WIP for both maker and thing made.
Images
‘Seated couple on plinth’. 2016. Available to view at: https://pierrewilliams-artceramics.com/ (Accessed 23rd of October 2018)
Ailish Henderson 512344 oca textiles Level 3: Personal Specialism and research 